Fight Back Against Computer Woes, Write In Peace

Let's face it: These days, we're practically owned by our computers.

Without them, we'd be sitting alone in cold, dark rooms, forced to use ink pens or (gasp!) mechanical pencils to spill our creative dreamscapes out into the world. It's terrifying to think about.

But sometimes our PCs fail us.

They'll get infected. They'll slow down.

The good news: there's quite a bit you can do to remedy even the worst computer problems, and even more you can do to prevent them.

I bring this up now mostly because I've just finished cleansing the evil spirits from my sister's laptop. It contained a veritable rogues gallery of spyware and viruses, so in a way I'm writing this to help myself cope.

We'll be dealing with the two prime S's of computer upkeep: Security and stability.

Without security, your personal information could be stolen, your OS could crumble before your very eyes, and you could be bombarded with advertisements and redirected from Google all the way to Timbuktu.

Without stability, well -- you'd just end up aggravating yourself more than usual (which is, coincidentally, a favorite past time of most Windows PCs. p.s. I hate you Windows Vista. I. Hate. You.).

The Basics

Smooth, like a milkshake

Before we get into my personal software recommendations, there are quite a few actions you can take on a regular basis to keep your computer (and your life) running smoothly:

1. Watch where you browse. Don't visit any strange or suspicious websites. Don't think it might be cool to check out the seedy underbelly of the Internet. It's dark down there, and you most likely will catch something.

2. Don't open suspicious e-mail. If you don't know who sent it, or you're not sure what it is, just forward it right to your junk box. That's what it's for.

3. Don't click suspicious links. If you don't know exactly where a link heads, don't follow it. Check your status bar (usually at the bottom of your browser) to make sure it's going where you think it's going.

4. Make sure the website you're viewing is the one you think it is. Many phishing websites will mimic the appearance of legitimate websites. If you're about to enter critical account information (say, logging into a bank account or, uh, Steam), double check the address bar to make sure you're at the right place. This mostly goes for when/if you've followed a link to get there.

5. Don't download anything you're unsure about (and if you do, scan it afterwards). The great big majority of viruses end up on computers because their users accidentally downloaded them. So, you know, don't do that.

6. Don't use the same password twice. Using the same password for your bank account as the one you use for World Of Warcraft probably isn't the best idea. It's like with Christmas lights -- if one bulb goes out, they all go out. That's not a position you want to be in. I'd even recommend using a separate e-mail address for your more important accounts.

7. Keep your PC updated. Keep up with the latest hardware drivers, as well as OS updates.

8. Maintain system integrity. That sounds kind of fancy. Keep your drives defragmented, your registry clean, and your files nice and tidy. I've got some recommendations below for software that can help you with this.

All of these tips are pretty common sense, but even with CONSTANT VIGILANCE, you'll probably end up needing help. Don't feel bad; we've all been there.

A Little Help

Here's a short list of software I've used over the years.

I've never had a virus infection, never had my keys logged or passwords stolen. Sure, Windows tends to slow down the longer time goes on, and I've had my fair share of hiccups (though my Macbook runs as quickly as the day it arrived, but that's a whole other topic), but for the most part I've never experienced a world-shattering disaster.

Anyway, to my recommendations. They're all free, and all relatively simple to use:

Avira Antivir Personal Edition. I've been using this for years, and it does everything an antivirus should. It automatically updates, allows you to set scheduled scan times, and alerts you of any harmful files as soon as they arrive. The only downside is that, after updating, it always pops up with a window showing off Avira's products. But that's a small price to pay for what I think is a very solid piece of software.

COMODO Firewall. A very meticulous, sometimes complicated firewall that will catch absolutely every little thing that attempts to access your computer. It can be a bit difficult to set up at first, as it takes some time to learn which processes and software your computer regularly uses, but simply enabling a "learning" feature after setup takes care of that for the most part. This is a very complete, very secure firewall.

ZoneAlarm Firewall. I'm going to recommend this firewall with a quick disclaimer: a recent update has caused many users' computers to slow down. I'm not sure about the specifics regarding that issue, but in general my experience with ZoneAlarm has been very positive. It's easier to manage than COMODO, and allows you to easily control which programs are allowed access to your network.

Spybot: Search & Destroy. Another program I've been using for years. Spybot is an excellent anti-spyware tool that will hunt down and murder any unwanted tracking cookies, registry keys, or other malicious files.

Malwarebytes. An anti-malware program similar to Spybot. It works just as well, and I often scan twice if I'm feel unlucky. I'm sort of paranoid when it comes to computer security, so I tend to take multiple precautions against thieves and hackers.

Eusing Free Registry Cleaner. Installing and uninstalling software often leads registry entries behind, which can eventually slow your computer down. This registry cleaner will take care of that for you.

Auslogics Disk Defrag. Windows comes with its own disk defragmenter, but it's very, very slow. Very slow. Auslogics, on the other hand, not only defragments your hard drives before the next full moon, it optimizes those drives for even better performance. Highly recommended.

Also, don't forget about the software that comes included with Windows. Windows Defender, for example, is a very good anti-spyware utility. Remember to keep your PC's drivers up to date, and run Windows Update from time to time (if you have automatic updates turned off).

That's all I've got for now. If I think of any more, I'll be sure to update this post. Also, if anyone has any other recommendations for software that would help us keep our computers in shape, let us know.

So, in conclusion, computers can be a pain, I hate Windows Vista, and the less we have to worry about system crashes and Trojans, the more time we can spend watching Koalas attack each other on Youtube.

Images courtesy Random McRandomhead, Ashley R. Good